eight years ago my beloved got down on one knee to ask me to spend forever with him.
we always say that the one thing we regret is not having attached a microphone to him so we could remember the words. I remember looking at him and thinking “mary, please remember these words. these promises. these affirmations. these are the most beautiful things that anyone has ever said to you.”
well, we have no idea what was said in that whirlwind of a moment besides the word & much anticipated answer…YES!
and I guess that is a part of life I struggle with. I want to hold on so tight to every single amazing feeling, word, experience, moment…but sometimes instead of being documented they are just meant to be felt forever.
i remember the feeling of 11.12.13. it is one I will never forget.
& i know I will remember this feeling today, 11.12.21.
this is not only a transition but rather a symbol of becoming. an act of shedding. a marker of growth.
i chose the name “wandering with mary” in 2011 when i was stepping into a season of getting to know myself…mind, body & soul. I was freshly divorced and yearning to know more of the world. curious to grow. eager to see, explore and spread love.
i was constantly on the go…part of it was running from the hard but also embracing a freedom I never thought I would experience.
I traveled, I made friends with strangers, I moved to a foreign country, I experienced deep sorrow but also a tremendous amount of joy, I met JP, we eventually got married, moved to Uganda to begin our family, experienced the highest highs and the lowest lows. I learned to wait against my own will but somehow my faith grew stronger in the thick of it. I got sick, physically and mentally. we moved back to america with two extra humans than when we left.
& then I sat still.
not much wandering has been done since we moved back. the words aren’t flowing like they used to. but I have been able to pour into spaces around me like I haven’t before.
the spaces i live in.
the spaces my heart and brain reside in.
the space my soul belongs to for now.
the space online where I get to connect with you.
it’s been different. not bad and not necessarily better but different. change isn’t always easy but majority of the time it signifies growth and I believe growth is one of the biggest gifts one could ever experience.
so here we are. no more wandering with mary. but now forevermore living.
an umbrella of sorts where you will find words and glimpses of random wanders but really, a space to share the things I love in hopes it brings light & love into your spaces as well.
whether you have wandered with me or sat with me in my stillness, i am so grateful for you. thanks for being here and supporting all the wild dreams & desires of my heart. I am truly honored I get to share them with you.
